8th Mar 2016
Sydney, Australia – February 29 to March 3
One of the many great things about my job as a reporter/assistant producer for Fox Sports Asia is that it affords me a number of opportunities to travel around the region and visit places not at my own expense.
Early in 2016 I got the opportunity to visit Muangthong Thani just outside Bangkok, Thailand and just recently work told me to pack my bags (in a positive way) because I would be heading to Sydney – one of my favourite places in the entire world – to help cover the AFC Champions League match between Sydney FC and the defending champions Guangzhou Evergrande.
Sigh… Oh if I must…
Day One:
Annoyingly they insisted that I had to work a morning shift (one of the things I really don't like about my job – hello 4:45am alarm call) on the day I would be flying but a few hours after that was over I was on the plane – a newly refitted Qantas A330 (hello free BA air miles) – and winging my way Down Under to the place I one day hope to call my home once again.
Many people don't care for aeroplane food but I honestly don't mind it. It may just boil down to the fact that I'm a bit of a greedy sod who loves food… In fact I'm sure that's what it is…
Meals on planes are usually pretty standard: a small starter, bread roll, main course, small dessert and a cuboid of cheese with some crackers to finish. The problem I always find is that I never have enough butter left after my bread roll to put on my crackers - it's a constant living nightmare I can tell you.
Qantas, however, take a different approach: no starter, no butter for the bread roll – heathens – and no cheese and crackers! They compensate for this by giving you a larger main course but I for one like the classic aeroplane tray thank you very much!
One very important consolation, however, was the excellent Shiraz they had to accompany my beef stew with mashed potato and vegetables of which I had several bottles before trying to get some much needed sleep before touching down in ‘Straya.
Day two:
As per usual sleep was hard to come by…
I've only slept well on a plane a few times and on those occasions I've either been fortunate to have been upgraded or have been absolutely hammered when boarding the flight and eventually passed out after a few more red wines.
I'm a big fella: I'm over six feet and weigh, well, more than I should and let's just leave it at that. That means squeezing into plane seats isn't comfortable in the slightest and every tiny movement means something ends up poking, hurting or annoying me.
Anyway, it is what it is, and upon waking Qantas give me a small but tasty pastry and a brew to kick start my morning and before I knew it we were touching down in Sydney.
Upon arrival we breezed through immigration – if only every airport made it so easy – and managed to pick up a SIM card for work before heading to our serviced apartments. Upon our arrival at Meriton Serviced Apartments in Waterloo we discovered we had a problem: work had booked for the previous day so we could check in early (smart) but had failed to inform the apartments that we weren't arriving until the he following morning (not so smart).
Because we hadn't arrived when we were supposed to they had listed us as no shows and made our rooms free for walk ins. Fortunately they didn't get any and after a small delay we were sorted.
I was expecting a standard apartment all on the one level but I was greeted with a pretty pimping pad with bedroom and bathroom on one floor, kitchen, dining area, living room – complete with a bigger tv than I have in my own house – and balcony on the other. In this instance, Fox Sports had produced the goods (I know, I was shocked too)!
Settled in and showered it was time to hit the beach. Sadly there would be no time for frolicking in the sun-warmed waters of the Pacific Ocean off Coogee because we were there to interview a Sydney FC player and get some shots of the squad doing a beach recovery session.
Once that was in the can and I'd listened to some very frank and definitely-off-the-record chatter from the manager it was time for lunch and what do you do if you're English and by the seaside? You eat fish and chips!
We found a nice spot close to the beach and ordered the $27 fish and chips – yep, you read that correctly TWENTY SEVEN DOLLAR fish and chips.
I figured it was due to our location by the beach in the trendy area of Coogee and while it may have had something to do with that it was also due to the epic portion size that they dished up.
Every time I've been for dinner with my uncle and someone receives a particularly large portion of fish and chips he always, without fail, refers to it as “whale and chips” in a lame dad joke so dad jokey it may top all dad jokes.
Every time. Without fail.
Well on this occasion I found myself using his own vernacular (I must be getting older) as they placed what looked like a late, crisply battered descendant of Moby Dick with chips in front of me.
Yeow Keong, my cameraman, like me is a big fella and we were both left reeling a little at this impressive plate of food but like the large chaps we are we tore into it with little or no regard for our waistlines and although not as good as the stuff served up in Blighty it was still pretty damn good.
After editing in the afternoon – and trying to fight off what I call post digestive narcolepsy – it was time for some R&R and in my book that meant a trip to the pub to meet my good friend Cat.
We met at the Unicorn Hotel which from first glance seemed like a decent boozer and it got even better when I discovered that they have my favourite Aussie beer on tap.
Australian beer cops a lot of flack – mainly from me it must be said. The likes of VB, Carlton, Tooheys new, and Castlemaine XXXX are largely bollocks and don't even get me started on Hahn premium or super dry but James Squire; now that's different.
James Squire’s 150 Lashes, in my humble opinion, is a cracking beer and a great session ale. It's great in the heat, is full of flavour and is wonderfully easy to drink.
The other beers in the James Squire range are also lovely drops.
In the interest of fairness, Australia has a shed load of craft beers that are absolutely top notch and more than make up for the mass produced rubbish that they hawk.
It's also true that no one in Australia drinks Fosters and why would they? It's rubbish too!
So I met Cat for a natter and a few schooners (oh for a pint) of 150 Lashes before heading back to the ranch.
On my way back I bought a pizza for my dinner but managed to over cook it in the oven so had to munch my way though burned pizza to round off the day – hardly a great gourmet experience!
Day three:
With the press conferences not until 4:30pm I was faced with a few hours of free time and that was the perfect opportunity to catch up with a few more old friends.
I arranged to meet Steve, Sara and their little girl Millie, plus Aimee at a place called Burger Project – never a bad sounding name – in the CBD.
It was a glorious Sydney day so I walked to Redfern station enjoying being able to walk outside in the sunshine without feeling like I was melting as is the way in Singapore (damn you humidity, damn you).
After initially sitting in completely the wrong burger place – it was impressive how many they had in such a close proximity as well as the awesome Din Tai Fung – I found where I was supposed to be after having stopped off to buy a cow glove puppet for Millie (yeah, I had no idea what to buy a girl who's not quite turned one so I plumped for the cow – it turns out it was a great present)!
Burgers “protein style” (ditch the bun and wrap in lettuce) are all the rage now among the paleo crew and after having devoured the deep fried whale (thanks Uncle Marc - you'd be so proud of me) that was captain Ahab’s obsession the previous day I opted for the “healthy” lettuce-wrapped The Bacon Project, fries with Chipotle chilli salt and a large salted caramel milkshake. As I said, “healthy…”
At least my carb count was down!
I love a good burger - that's pretty obvious just by looking at me – and I have to say I was mightily impressed with what Burger Project served up. The burger was juicy, sizable and really well seasoned, and the bacon that accompanied it was top notch. The chipotle fries were crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside – why do so many places balls that up – while the salted caramel shake was divine!
If you're ever in Sydney, go check it out. Unless you're vegetarian… In that case, give it a wide berth!
The walk back from the station enabled me to burn one or two of the several million calories I'd ingested at lunch and it was soon time to head down for the press conferences and training.
For once the pressers were actually interesting as both managers had things to say and the journalists actually wanted to ask questions which is something that isn't always the case in Southeast Asia!
The training, as always, was dull as the players never do anything while the cameras are in attendance. We get 15 minute to watch them warm up and muck about before we're told to sling our hooks while they get down to the tactical side of things.
Anyway, we got what we came for and headed to a pub (it's Australia after all) to interview a Sydney FC fan for another piece I was planned on doing.
It worked well as we got some good answers and Michael our interviewee bought be a pint and yes, it was James Squire.
We got finished around 10pm by which time the pub had stopped serving food but fortunately a kebab shop was round the corner – work trips are always the healthiest…
Again, like burgers, I love a good kebab and unlike many I don't have to be drunk to enjoy one.
The Aussies have a great take on a late night lamb sandwich which means you can actually eat the thing quite easily. In Britain kebab shops tend to just pile the meat, salad and sauce into a piece of pita bread and hand it over. As a result of this and the several pints of lager already imbibed you end up with around 50% of it on your shirt, 25% of it on the floor, 15% smeared around your face and the remainder actually in your mouth!
In Australia they wrap the kebab up like a burrito and toast it a little flatter so the mess is self-contained in the wrapper and you actually get to eat the majority of it! They also offer grated cheese which is a winner in my book and also led to my favourite food-based anecdote ever.
Standing in line for a post night out kebab – in Sydney as a matter of fact – a girl came up and placed her order for a large doner to takeaway. Then came the following exchange:
Proprietor: would you like cheese with the large doner?
Girl: no thanks, I'm on a diet.
And yes, she was dead serious! Brilliant.
Anyway, back to me and I ordered a large doner – yes, with cheese – and as I was feeling pretty peckish I added some chips (twice in one day – fat bastard) sprinkled with chicken salt.
Chicken salt is great and is not, contrary to what some people believe, chickens that have been dried out and ground down to make salt which I have heard so many Aussies tell innocent backpackers!
Anyway, both kebab and chips complemented my lovely bottle of Malbec that I'd previously bought and I enjoyed all three as I edited before settling in for a night of tv.
Day Four:
Day three of the trip was match day and with kick off not until 8pm I had a good amount of free time once I'd finished editing my fan piece.
With a Singapore mate also happening to be in Sydney at the same time we arranged to meet up for lunch at 1pm.
I managed to miss my train and as a result didn't get to the restaurant until 1:30… This wasn't a problem because Will was stuck in a meeting and wouldn't be able to make it.
Oh well, I'd needed the exercise…
I opted to go eat at one of my favourite restaurants right by the water forgoing the equally wonderful tapas restaurant Tapa Vino (it's epic).
The food at Sydney Cove Oyster Bar is very good, the wine is excellent but the view is spectacular: it looks directly at Sydney Harbour Bridge and it's a view I think I could never tire of!
It's not cheap mind you…
Figuring that work will reimburse me as its well within my daily allowance, I opt for the tiger prawn linguine with a crisp Pinot Grigio to accompany it and slowly tuck into my tasty lunch all the while admiring one of Sydney’s most iconic landmarks – heaven.
Feeling not totally full - there's always room for dessert – I opt for some gelato from a nearby vendor: salted caramel, mint choc chip and Belgian chocolate which I happily gorged on while making my way to the train station.
During the matches themselves, meals are often hard to come by so in a rare display of forward thinking I stop off at a café on the way back and order myself a B.R.A.T: bacon, rocket, avocado and tomato sandwich on sourdough to go.
Cafes in Australia produce epic food and this was no exception as I later discovered come kick off time.
By the time work was complete at the stadium – Sydney FC won 2-1 by the way – it was back home to edit and by the time that was done there was little else to do but kick back with the rest of my Malbec and reflect on a job well done!
Day five:
Ever the sport fan I woke up early to watch Liverpool hammer Manchester City 3-0 before departing for the airport. Breakfast consisted of a sausage roll – not as good as a British sausage roll (obviously) but not bad – and a pint of Lazy Yak (another good Australian beer) before take off.
Needing something to show from my travels, I picked up a bottle of port and some salted caramel Tim Tams from duty free. The Tim Tams went down a treat and the port will be enjoyed at some stage in the future with immense amounts of cheese.
Gout? Nah, won't happen…
The onboard meal this time consisted of a large, round piece of “lamb” in a tomato sauce with polenta (flash for a plane). Despite not exactly knowing what it was, it actually tasted okay although that may have something to do with the two James Boags and several Shiraz…
We were also given a chicken focaccia just before landing which did the job but I couldn’t help but notice that those who'd ordered special meals got additional things and the greedy git in me was jealous!
My jealously subsided by the time the wheels touched down in Singapore and brought my trip to Sydney to an end.
Until next time…